Updated: Aug 27, 2019
a study found that on average people spend six hours worrying, per week. psychology today
Guilt is so much a part of the fabric of our culture that it seems quite radical to suggest that it's been a mistake, but it has. From the beginning of human history, each generation has taken on guilt and passed it down. Parents, children, friends, spouses, partners and others have used guilt for behavior modification, punishment and revenge. Businesses, governments and religions have used guilt to keep people in line. Don't even let me get started on the physical manifestations of guilt on the human body: anxiety, muscle tension, sleep disturbance, suicidal thoughts, cortisol levels increases. The list is endless, Felicia, and we need to do something about it. Pronto.
Remind yourself that everyone (and I mean everyone) makes mistakes, breaks promises, and acts impulsively on the daily. You will fuck up again, you will break promises that you made to yourself and others. And so will I. In fact, I'm legit considering to break the diet I started less than a week ago and have Popeye's for breakfast today. Breakfast, not even lunch. But between you and me, I do not plan to feel an ounce of guilt, at all. See, if I died tomorrow, I for sure won't die having deprived myself of the things I love in life, and yes, that includes some fat-ass fried chicken breast. Of course I am not denying that it's absolutely important to take responsibility for the consequences your actions may have on others, and specially to make an effort to commit to the compromises we make to ourselves, however when I want something, the Universe agrees with me and gives it to me. It is my humanity which prevents me from wanting things that will deliberately hurt others, so let me be extremely clear: human desire and will (from fried chicken, through ambition, romance, and all the way to the most unorthodox sexual fetishes) is pure and good, by nature: everything you instinctively want is good, pure and evil-free. It's millenniums of patriarchy, mental conditioning, propaganda and unethical governments that's reprogrammed your (and my) minds into easily-triggered guilt machines. Ugh! I know right? The good news is that you can absolutely reprogram your beautiful mind into its more natural (and godly like) state: free of shame, free of acne and free of guilt!
Guilt fu**s with us and prevents us from receiving on so many levels. Think about it: how many of your gals (or maybe even yourself) have remained in a relationship (hopefully not for too long!) out of guilt? How many times have you diminished your own success, happiness and/or accomplishments (again) out of guilt? How many times a day, a week you blame yourself for things that haven't even happened? The second guilt shows up your door, that should be your courtesy reminder to drop everything you're doing and process the heck out of those thoughts and let them go. Appreciate not being a remorse-free sociopath, analyze the thoughts (the guilty thoughts!), be objective about what's truth and what's not, do something about it and let it go far, faaaar away. The argument that small doses of guilt can be healthy comes from guilt making individuals make amendments, fix their mistakes and yaddah yaddah and this I can agree with. What I completely disagree with is feeling guilt and doing nothing about it. Guilt (very similarly to stress) is such a low-vibrational type of energy that when left unchecked and unprocessed directly damages both your energetic field and physical body. Cancer is one of the most dangerous long-term manifestations of years of accumulated lower-vibration energy within you, for example.
Self imposed or programmed in childhood?
So how to get rid of guilt? First, you need to identify where the feelings of guilt are coming from. I want you to reconsider the way you think of guilt. Think of it as a habit. A habit you were taught by others at a very young age. By definition, you are not entirely in awareness of your habits, if at all. However, when detrimental to your wellbeing, it is absolutely something you need to become aware of, so that you can start to examine the uselessness of said habit in you present life and reprogram it.
To me, guilt is a habit of doing anything to avoid the sadness or anger or helplessness that comes after making a mistake, hurting someone, breaking a promise.
Guilt is our brain's trick to avoid the natural process of sadness and mourning that comes with loss. We've been conditioned since childhood to avoid emotional release.
Why? God knows, and there's no help really in blaming our parents, or their parents. If anything, their access to information was so limited and restricted back then, unlike you and I who can do it freely (allegedly) via internet, for example.
So start from there: make a list of the many guilts you carry, from "little" as breaking a diet to those events you can't even say out loud (for now). When you are ready, ask yourself where they come from. You'll end up with a chain of thoughts/memories. One (uncomfortable/painful) memory or event being connected to a previous one where said reaction/guilt was learnt, and that previous one being linked (as well) to a previous one. If you keep digging, even events and traumas that your body and chakras have recorded (regardless of your developing brain/memory not being able, to at the time) will start popping up, as well. One by one and that is when the guilt starts releasing, when we come to the realization that guilt is not part of our nature, that guilt was imposed onto us since our very first breaths by a society that's been brainwashed and conditioned in the opposite direction of their (our) true nature. Fear not, my loves, cause the force (or God, or Source, or Logos, or Akashic Records) is within us and every piece of subconscious and collective memory and information remains pure and intact, free of conditioning, free of guilt.
Make a new habit of hanging out with your darker (or darkest) side, self, traits, secrets, memories, mistakes not running away from them. See them, feel them, let the emotions manifest into physicality through your body (in the shape of tears, most likely). Release that energy that you absolutely don't want to accumulate. It's not about changing what happened (or what you wanted to happen), because... well, you can't. It's about changing your perspective, the weight and role you let it play in your present (and future) life. And I promise you, your mind will never betray you. I mean, the mind does play trick on us sometimes 'cause (as I said) she's been fucked up with since our very first days on Earth, but when it comes to healing and releasing... if you are patient with yourself and trust your own body and divine nature (and I mean divine as in bitch, it's about damn time you recognize you come from Celestial beings), your mind (WHO IS DYING TO HEAL) will guide you at your own pace. I mean, it's your mind after all! She's your gal and she knows you!
releasing guilt, 2 or 4 fingers at a time:
I discovered a technique I call "4-fingers technique" not too long ago. It replaced Tapping (more on that below) as my go-to tool for releasing and manifesting. Both follow a similar principle of energetic pressure points in the body used to release negative emotions: In a quiet room, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths to get in your zone and with both your index and middle fingers on each hand, at the same time, put pressure on either the most tense parts of your neck/shoulder (otter/inner world in graphic below) or your Solar Plexus Chakra (power center/guilt area in graphic below). There always is that one spot in those specific areas that feel like rock-hard or tense. Press gently, with love. As if you were massaging a child, your little brother or sister (or child), and eventually (and gradually) your own child-self. Keep the pressure on those points for a little while and ask in your head: what memories are triggered when applying pressure on this area? Spoiler alert: it will, most likely, be uncomfortable or/and painful. So by all means take your time, be patient (and sweet) with yourself, but at the same mother-fucking time, baby: you fucking deserve this. And deserve this soon. Stay still and quiet with the answers you'll receive in the shape of memories, words, inspiration even. I promise the feelings of unease and discomfort fade away really quick. Allow yourself to go back, all the way back. Don't forget to always keep the pressuring/massaging kind and sweet.
Added bonus: Lavender or Frankincense Essential Oil in your fingers while you apply pressure. + Lavender tea for when you're done + a nice shower or bath with more lavender essential oil. Slay! I'm performing a Live Demonstration during our New Moon in Virgo Ritual Livestream this Thursday August 29th at 6.06 PM PDT (9.06 PM EST) on our Instagram. You're obviously invited (I mean DUH) and it's for free, and it's going to be fabulous and very intimate. You can sign up to receive a free SMS alert 10 mins before we go live!
EFT Tapping is another amazing technique for releasing/letting go negative emotions. I mean the EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. Totally not feeling guilty about the redundancy of it all! Some of my favorite tapping coaches/experts are Brad Yates, Julie Schiffman and Gala Darling. Some people claim to have overcome addictions, forgiven abusers and healed eating disorders. I personally have used tapping for manifesting money. I've used tapping to release feelings of unworthiness/not being good enough/deserving/not feeling abundant. I shit you not, minutes (and hours, on a different occasions) later big amounts of money came out from places to this day I cannot logically explain. And why would I want to?! Try it yourself.
The benefits to releasing guilt (and any sort of lower-vibrational energy) by applying pressure in part of our bodies (hello Acupuncture!) are beyond words. On top of the instant physical relief, relaxation, muscular loosening, and better sleeping (to name a few), I am now convinced (and living proof!) that actual magic happens. When we release heavy loads, literal heavy negative energy, we become more lightweight and closer to the resonance/frequency of love: the highest possible frequency/vibration and closest we can be to God/Source/Logos in this realm. When we release guilt via therapy, meditation, or the accelerate body-pressure-points way, we attract via love frequency synchronicities, blessings and spiritual guidance/enlightenment from dimension above the dense 3D we are currently trapped in. Give yourself 10 mins to try one of Gala's money manifesting sessions and you will see what I'm talking about. We will cover more about this topic on Virgo Season, Week 4: Manifestation, in the meantime you can sign up for our New Moon in Virgo Ritual (and Live demonstration of the 4-fingers technique to release guilt!).
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